52 SONGS

...the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life...

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

23. London Has Fallen

One of the worst action movies in memory:
Arab evildoers try to shoot Marine One

out of the air, Gerard Butler knifes
a faceless goon, it dog-whistles sadism

without notes of camp.
This dumpster of xenophobia

(brown people are scary!)
conflated with murky, inane chases,

laughable special effects, and
mismatched stock footage shots

begs to be made into a drinking game.
Good at absolutely nothing,

its aesthetic is cut-rate anonymity,
direct-to-video movies and crappy TV.

Overqualified supporting actors
sound like garbage—“Jesus, Mike! 

Did you have to kill that guy?”
—and trudge on, indifferently framed.

[all words from Ignativ Vishnevetsky's "F"-graded  review of London Has Fallen, in the AV Club]

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